Well, ironically the church I’m going to right now is doing a series called breakthrough…but things are kind of starting to unravel and are starting to make sense more to me just about what my passions are and where my heart is at.
Like I have shared before this season I have spent a lot of time in the prayer room laying things down before the Lord and seeking His presence more and more. In typical God fashion the more I have been doing this the more I have felt Him reveal things to me that just totally make sense and refresh my soul.
Some of the highlighted things that He has shown me have been sonship, surrender, fear of the Lord, joy and trusting Him. Some good stuff right there lol. I will usually (unless I forget) ask God for a word for the month to kind of rally around or something to continue to remind myself to walk in. Last month He gave me the word surrender. Being reminded of surrendering my worries and my “things” to God is so good I mean releasing those things off my back onto His has been so awesome. I had some things bringing me down but releasing those to a Father who can carry it and loves us in those rough times is such a blessing. Throughout the past few weeks the song Nothing I Hold Onto has been playing in my head. There is this awesome verse that goes, “I lean not on my own understanding my life is in the hands of the Maker of heaven, I give it all to you God, trusting that you’ll make something beautiful out of me.” I began to soak in that truth and stop trying to do it all by myself because like a lot of people, I think I can do it all on my own and during the rough times its hard but when you truly surrender these things to God…man does it get easier ha. Such freedom when we release it and truly surrender because then He can use us in miraculous ways.
The words of joy and trusting in God just have been good reminders to myself to continue to live in that joy and welcome it. We all know that it can be super hard to trust the Lord in things and then we’ll trust in Him and boom it all works out. I have been going through Exodus and it was awesome to see God provide in telling Moses that if he listened and told Pharaoh what he said that the Israelite’s would be released…sure it took a while and a whole lot of other things went down that made it a little more challenging but they were released and then God revealed the Ten Commandments and the land that was promised to them (unfortunately they botched that by worshiping the golden calf) . When the Israelite’s saw God’s power they feared him (get into that in a sec) and began to trust Him even more. Seeing the Lord’s power in that book had me thinking like how could I not trust that He will help me out or how could I not trust in Him providing.
I really never heard a word about the fear of the Lord until like two years ago and like since then it has been highlighted to me to be sure I understand this. Past few months I think I have forgotten to remember this and will let earthly fear seep in and forget that the fear of the Lord will bring me way more than fearing anything on earth. Like this generation has molded God into our imagine and if we don’t think God judges then what’s the need for salvation. We don’t have a proper fear of the Lord so we live like we wanna live and we start to begin to look like the world. You can’t change the world is you look like the world…come on! I could go on about the fear of the Lord but I’ll leave it at that.
The biggest thing that has kept coming up is understanding my sonship. I was at Azusa Now Cleveland in July and Todd White (S/O to Callie haha) and he went off about sonship and dang it was so good he said, “How can we live like our Father if we are living like an orphan … we need to know who we are and whose we are.” Man that was so good. I have been thinking about that lately and during my small group at church we where in Ephesians and somehow sonship got brought up. Anyway just have been thinking more about how to live that out more and what it means to be a child of God you know. Just was good.
With all of that, I also work. It has it’s highs and lows like any job but you always hear do what you love and it won’t be work and things of that nature. Since I’m newer to the area (I need to stop saying this haha its been 3 months) when I meet people I tell them I’m gonna be here in Kzoo for a year then who knows. I’ll share my dream of opening either a crepe shop or opening a baseball academy for kids. The more I say it the more I want to pursue it more and more. I know these ideas may be 10 years or so away which stinks cause I mean if I could do it right now I would but I need money and develop a plan to start them up. At work like its not a bad gig I enjoy it sometimes but it really doesn’t satisfy me, I really don’t see myself doing this long term…I am constantly thinking about those dreams. I want to be my own boss…no further explanation lol. One of the biggest things that troubles me with working in athletics is the hours. It stinks when people I know are chillin and I can’t cause work or my boss will call me while I’m at a party or friends house telling me to fix or do something. Like once I leave the office my mind is on anything but work. Like down the road when I start a family like I’m sorry but my family is going to come first over my job…so having my own hours will be clutch ha. I know I’m going to have to spend a few years doing something maybe more sport information stuff or who knows to start making moves toward my dreams.
Prayer room sets are the best…am I right?!?! Whether its IHOP or Upper Room or Toledo House of Prayer resting in His presence and purposely setting time for prayer and for revelation is so good. Stepping into the tabernacle and into the holy of holies… man…gaining that intimacy with God is….something I can’t put words to haha. When we let Him move in us it is so powerful and encouraging. I declare freedom over whoever reads this, may your lamp always remain burning!
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”