Here I Am

Dang…great song, Lindy is always killin it! For those of you who don’t know I low key have an obsession with Lindy’s worship songs ha. Anyway a bunch of my friends and I traveled to Niagara Falls last weekend because yolo (is that still a thing), along the way  we stopped at Cornell University for this event that was being put on by the Circuit Riders (they are group from California, they are a branch of YWAM). They are a really awesome group (despite their overly hipster vibes) who just really are sold out for the Lord and want to see this nation turn back to God.

At this event the speaker was just brought the word hard and it really stirred me up, it gave me a case of the charismatic Amens and come ons lol. It brought up a lot of thoughts that I have been thinking about for a while now and once the speaker ended there was a time of reflection to just go to your face in front of the Lord. It was so needed for myself and many others, just going to Him and being like Lord I’m here and I’m ready to be sent. I started crying out to the Lord, reveal to me where you want me to go, I want to be sent to a place to impact people, just start showing me this Lord. It’s nuts man, I’m not the one to countdown the days and things of that nature but my graduation is less than 2 months away. People are like on me about oh so like what’s next, what are you going to do, where you going to go, you should stay here. I’m like yo I don’t even know, sure I’ve been applying for athletic communication positions and am waiting to hear back from them hoping I get one.

The more I think and pray about it, God just is showing me more of my heart for others and to see things change. A friend of mine sent me a text the other day and was like, “Hey the Cincinnati Reds are on campus today, you should stop by and network”. This obviously would be a great opportunity to do that but the more I’ve been looking at applications and visualizing working, my heart just doesn’t seem like it will be satisfied doing this work. Another crazy thing that I’ve noticed is this, yesterday was Game 1 of the World Series and the Cavs got their rings, literally one of the greatest days in Cleveland’s history. Growing up in Cleveland the struggles we have in sports is no secret, I love baseball, I love the Indians, I love Cleveland, I had opportunities to go downtown to be in that atmosphere which I would have loved, but Tuesday is Ember in Toledo. I have noticed I would rather go get my fill on Holy Spirit than really anything else. Like if you told me that a few years ago that I would rather have gone to some worship event than go to Cleveland for like the greatest day in Cleveland sports history I thought you would have been trippin on something funky. And like last night was awesome at Ember, a great word, great worship, awesome fellowship with some great people. And like I came home later than usual (S/O to I-75 construction) and still was able to watch the 8th and 9th innings and was totally cool that I didn’t see the whole game. Two of my homies Nate and Joel were unloading a bunch of knowledge to me and it was just sooo good and like now there’s even more stuff I have on my mind about the Lord and heaven I want to learn about.

If I am not able to secure a job by the time I graduate I’m going back home to The Land to live with my parents. Sure it’s not the ideal position but I’ve been praying just for peace in that and as usual the Lord provides. I’m totally alright with it right now, I figured out that I have an opportunity to volunteer with FCA at a few local high schools. Sure I’d have to get a random job but I’m cool with that knowing I can impact those people and also the high schoolers I potentially can impact too. Still though I am unsure of how long if I do get a job in athletic communications I will work in this field. I do enjoy the work but I just sense this calling for more and doing more with my life than just athletic comm. stuff. I’ve reached out to people with FCA, AIA, and the Circuit Riders to figure out what exactly it would look like going on mission with them. Right now I’m just asking the Lord to just reveal where He wants to send me after school, don’t let these future things bring me down, being strong in breaking the barrier of what people think I should do with my life, and to not let things slip on by while I still have some time left here at BG. Peace and love.

Isaiah 6:8

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”