First off, if you sent me money to support me I am going to send it back to you, I appreciated your willingness to support me in this endeavor. After plenty of time in prayer I have decided that I am not going to Australia. Umm so like when I got accepted I was super stoked but truthfully something didn’t feel right. I began to pray about it and ask the Lord to give me direction with this decision and help me figure out what my play was. As I began to pray into it I just kept getting this feeling like I wasn’t suppose to be going. But I kept ignoring it because I wanted to get out of the states and out of my house. I’ve been in a dry season lately and have been asking God to let me know about this decision. Last week at church I heard this word which I thought was for someone else but after thinking about it more I realized that this word was for me.It basically was that He has me right where He wants me and that this “sending out” I guess, is being put on hold for now. I won’t get into to much detail but felt the Lord wanted me to stay at home and fix somethings that are going on here before anything else. Yeah I’m a little bummed but hey I know I’m already apart of the greatest adventure of all-time! I have faith that God will provide here at home and that He has something incredible for me here and beyond. Yeah it’s been an interesting few weeks to say the least. I just know I don’t want to live an ordinary life, do what brings me joy, and do what glorifies God.
This journey of life is quite the climb
It can get dirty and create a messy grime
But we need to remember it’s in His time
When He reveals revelation that is prime
Divinely interrupted…this is what comes to mind right now. In the world’s eyes people think that a recent college graduate like myself should be getting a job and starting my career. But with things that have been occurring in my life over the past year or so I haven’t felt called to get right into those things. I’ve been praying for the Lord to just speak to me about what my immediate future may look like. As I began applying for jobs in my major I realized that at this moment I don’t feel like I should be doing that. I felt a call to sacrifice some of my time and give it to the Lord and let Him move within me to love every nation and every tongue. The Lord has divinely interrupted me at this point in my life to separate myself from what the usual thing would be as a typical college graduate. I had a prophetic word given to me back in October (I believe) about stepping outside of the box that people want to put me in and stepping outside of the norm of what people believe I should be doing with my life. And like having freedom and boldness and courage in being different from what the norm is in this “American Dream” concept that we have become so accustomed to.
Anyway to my main point, I applied for a DTS (Discipleship Training School) with YWAM (Youth With a Mission) in Byron Bay, Australia. I knew that this was going to be crazy and was going to test me in a bunch of ways since it is crazy and not many people may understand why I choose to apply for it and things of that nature. Cause there is so much going to be on my plate with paying loans back, finding a career, and all that jazz. But I trusted the Lord in this decision that I came with to apply for YWAM. So the dope news is I got accepted for the DTS! Praise the Lord right! But I know this is going to be quite a journey, I need to raise $600 in 2 weeks to hold my spot then on top of that raise even more support for the rest of the time. Raising support is weird and I know this process is going to be a roller coaster but I need to just keep my faith in the Lord to provide financially and really in all ways so that this journey is just seamless and isn’t too difficult. I feel like I’ll need to be like Joel Embiid (NBA reference) and trust the process haha know that it’s going to be challenging but I know the Lord has something awesome in store for me down in Australia and that He’ll get me there. I know crazy stories about God providing financially for people so I know I shouldn’t worry about that. Just super stoked to see what God has in store for me in Australia and just keep praying that everything will fall in order and that He’ll provide for me to get there. If your reading this and want to support me financially in my journey please contact me via Facebook or email (email@example.com) I would really appreciate it! I could also use the prayers so if you can’t partner with me financially, obviously would love prayer partners as well! And if you know anyone that would be willing to partner with me please share it with them too! Thanks, peace and love.
No more excuses, I am giving my all, I take up my cross and I answer the call, I pick up my feet and I march to Your song, I’m never looking back, whoa, I’m never looking back, whoa
Lindy Cofer (All or Nothing)
Love how music can express feelings and be so relatable, this song Bet That by Ezzy recently has been a jam that has been relating to me the chorus says, “Everything is changing Everything is switching around Things are rearranging People acting different now But I bet it’s for the better”. I’ve been so used to doing school for the last 16 years and now that it’s over I’m like well…what’s next. I don’t know what’s next I have idea’s but that’s it, anyway being home waiting to see what’s next for me has been rough. Not just cause I miss BG but the adjustment of living with my parents, not having a schedule really, having limited community, and just uncertainty of what is next for me. It feels just weird to be here and like limiting I guess may be the term I’m looking for. I sense this pressure and heaviness in the atmosphere at home and I just feel weird, like I know I shouldn’t but feel like I’m wearing a mask around certain people. I’m trying to just be me and continue doing my thing even though it’s been hard, so yeah hopefully I can take the mask off completely while I’m here (and anywhere really) for however long that is.
I’ve started reading this book that my friend Heidi gave me by Brad Lomenick called The Catalyst Leader. I’m only a few chapters in and it’s already really good. Something that the book brought up in the 1st chapter was finding your calling. Since I’m still really trying to figure out what I’m going to do now and well the rest of my life, this topic really started hitting home for me. I have given some thought about my calling previously but haven’t given it a whole lot of thought. Before graduating I had the mission field and mind set of the campus and those around me. Now like I can go anywhere, do anything, and since I really don’t know what I want to do, thinking about my calling seems like it will be helpful in figuring out some sort of direction or an idea. The book kind of defines calling in a really solid way I feel, “calling is not necessarily about a title, position, or certain career, but more of a vision and purpose for your life that spans all the seasons of your vocation.” I just love that, I know I feel pressured to find a job, pay back loans, and things of that nature. I know I can limit myself in those fears, the book did this study and they put this quote summarizing some of their findings which totally rings true in my mind, “more than one in three Christians feel a God-nudge inside of them to do something else with their lives, but haven’t found the nerve to pull the trigger.” It then talks about us having fears that hold us back from truly trusting God in the plan He has for us. I know I do this and I try not to let the fear of this world control me because I shouldn’t fear anything but God. If I’m not trusting Him then the relationship I have with Him is going to be affected big time.
I guess the biggest take away I have been thinking about the past few days is exactly what I was talking about my calling. Seeking God’s will in my life just begins with figuring out what keeps me awake, what makes me cry, what wakes me up, what are my passions and gifts, and what am I energized by. Digging into those things will give me a vision of possibilities that I can shape into finding out what I would ENJOY doing and actually being able to have God use me in those places cause He gave me those passions and gifts to glorify Him in those places. Like already I have been analyzing my passions and like helping the youth is something that I enjoy and like I kind of recently started to have this dream of owning a baseball academy to help kids grow in their talents as a ball player but also have that be a mission field to impact those kids lives with Jesus at the same time. I know there are going to be hard conversations in this journey but if I find happiness in taking whatever path no one can bring me down.
“If you are confident in what God has called you to do, you will not be distracted by someone intimidating you”- Bill Johnson
Peace and Love ya’ll