It’s been a crazy start to my last semester of college. Things are just hitting the fan and falling on me and just now have started to avoid the debris. I’ve just had so many thoughts and feelings going in so many different directions, to quote Kid Cudi, “You see I’m trapped in my mind and I know it’s crazy hey it’s not that bad at all”. Kind of how I’ve felt lately to summarize things up, like my thoughts are just in my head and they are causing all types of troubles. Like I’ve had a hard time talking to people about it so I really haven’t much. These thoughts of what’s next in my life once I graduate, like am I going to get hired? where am I going to go? who am I going to meet? what about my friends at school? How am I going to pay bills? Fear of loneliness and just things like that which the enemy is just attacking me with. It’s been too much man, life is just striking me out with 100 mph fastballs and wicked 12-6 curve balls. I’ve been letting these thoughts take over and I haven’t been trying to fight off the pitches. I’m just going down looking. These things have been effecting literally everything about me since school started. I’ve had to skip a few days of classes because I just couldn’t focus on school I had to much running through my mind. Emotionally and spiritually I have been drained and am at 0. Things just continued to fill on and on and I couldn’t get away from them. I’ve been trying my best to just escape to my own personal oasis if you will. In my case due to my introvertedness that means getting away from everyone and jamming out or diving into the Word or nature.
I’ve had some spiritual older brothers pray for me and it’s been helping a lot I totally feel the Lord moving again in me and breaking those chains of those thoughts that I have been having. I’m taking a prayer class in Toledo (its dope) and we started talking about strongholds in our lives. Like I needed to hear about this so badly yo, like how to break those and stuff like that. So I’ve been putting those into practice by praying scripture over myself, declaring truths about myself, and just reminding myself that I am loved and I am God’s beloved. Things have been totally on the upswing for me, over the past week or two. Doing my thing even if that means skipping class to go to my chill zone. Most recently I was at this church in Toledo and was going up for healing of my back, but left with a lot more than that ha. These two people started praying for my back then felt a need to pray for my heart to be healed and on top of that one of them had a prophetic word for me which really resonated with me about preparing for my future. I still don’t feel like me but working my way back into it for sure.