Career vs. Heart

This title kind of sums up a lot of what has been on my mind lately. Questions like, What should I do after college? Is this decision the best for my future? How is God going to use this? and How can I fix this situation?, just have been running through my mind constantly. I’m coming to the point in my life where I’m going to actually have to get a “big boy” job (not the restaurant lol, that ship has already sailed haha).

Currently, I’m going to school for a degree in Sport Management…simply because I love sports and at the time of deciding on a major nothing else really seemed interesting to me. When I made this decision I just began my life as a Christian so I wasn’t sure on how that would play into my career or most of my life, I was still trying to figure it all out.

My classes honestly haven’t helped much (some have been really good though), in terms of preparing me for working in the sport industry. I don’t think I’m going to need to tell someone what type of sporting event we are putting on or anything of that nature. Volunteering with the ticket office and athletic communication departments at school have really given me an idea of what it will look like working in this industry. I have gained a lot of valuable experiences and teachable moments during my time spent at both of these departments. I can totally see myself working in the sport industry and being a light wherever I am and just loving on everyone that I work with. On the other hand, I can see myself maybe going into ministry and working for organizations like Athletes in Action or FCA, or maybe be an entrepreneur and open a surf shop, coffee shop, or bar (or a shop with all 3 in 1 ha).

The Jesus Factor is something that has changed my life a lot. Growing in my faith and learning more about it has changed my perspective of life and how it should be lived. Without Jesus in my life I was more concerned with making money, living somewhere warm (that still sounds awesome), and basically focusing on things of this world that now just don’t seem that appealing to me. Money is a big factor in this and the thing is it’s not even my money, it’s God’s money he has chosen to give it to me for me to spend wisely. We…well at least I know that I don’t need a whole bunch of money to be satisfied and be happy in life, sure you can buy more things but do those things last forever? My typical grocery bill for the month is around $35, I go out to eat maybe once a week for $10-$15, and then rent for me is around $300. Besides feeding myself and having a place to live I don’t need a lot of money for everything else. Sure I’ll get some new clothes, books, or vinyls every once in a while but I don’t need them. So yeah the more I’ve grown the more I’ve realized this, also when I went to the Dominican Republic seeing the happiness that they had even though they didn’t have much really showed me to revalue things in life.

Having been put in this confusing season of life has really made me think of what can I do to best serve God wherever he places me. Even if I don’t go into ministry I know God will place me somewhere I can best serve Him and show His love to everyone I work with and come in contact with.

Having said all that…telling my parents that I don’t have the same idea of what they envision me doing in life has really made our relationship tough. We had an intense conversation about this topic and we are complete opposites of what we feel my life should look like. It’s just a weird thing to try to explain to them because they just kept getting more frustrated with me. I just think of Acts 1:7 “He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.” God has a plan for this relationship to get better and for them to know Him, I just have to not be anxious about it and let God do his thing because it’s in his time not ours.

This topic will probably continue to be prevalent in my life for awhile because it’s just the time in my life where I start seeing what I could maybe do and try things out to see if this is where God wants me. For now I’m just going to be praying about it and getting as much feedback from mentors and friends as I can.

Peace be with you

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”



I’m just in a difficult situation right now…I’m struggling. Twenty four hours ago I wasn’t, I was praising The Lord with 2,000 peers at a conference in Indianapolis. The Spirit was everywhere and it was so very good and the whole conference had been awesome.

To kind of start off how this started I’ll summarize it quickly because there really isn’t a whole lot to go over. Alright…I need an internship to graduate from school early next December. I planned on trying to do that this summer so I could graduate early, then there is a job fair in Washington that could provide opportunities to get a job (this job fair is next December). So hopefully I would graduate next December then hopefully get a job right away from the job fair and wouldn’t spend too much time without being employed.

This plan start to change though about a month ago. A friend of mine came up to me after a worship night at my house and was asking about my summer plans because she felt The Lord told her to tell me to consider maybe taking a summer to focus on Him. So I listened to her but was pretty set on the plans that I had thought of about for the internship.

As December started I had a few friends pray over me and they saw me working with youth and doing things of that nature. Also that I The Lord was putting armor on me to prepare for some type of battle. So I started praying about those things to see if it was accurate or not. The more I prayed about it the more I got memories of helping kids out during my life and the great time I had last year at this camp where I spend a week being a counselor.

Like I was saying I spend the last week at a Christian conference in Indianapolis. It always is really good and this year was no exception. I signed up for it but as it got closer I realized that financially it would not be smart. But The Lord provided and I went to Indy, going in with the future on  my mind I was praying that He would clarify things a bit for me.

The conference went on and the speakers where so good and a theme started to emerge out of it. Faithful and available. Words from Beth  Guckenberger, really got me thinking. Like this is the perfect time to do works for God. I’m in school am not tied down to anyone or anything so why not trust His word and go for it. The speaker that  really got me was Leann Willis. She was telling us about how so many people will say oh let me figure out this thing I have going on in my life then I’ll work on the spiritual. We should put God 1st then the rest. I began to think instantly about my career and the summer plans I had been thinking about. I talked with some friends afterword about my thoughts and the pickle about the internship and stuff. I got some really good feedback and ideas and such. So I decided that I was going to go to camp for the summer instead of trying for an internship.

This begins the pain. I came home last night planning to talk to my parents about this. So I approached them and started telling them about that I felt like I was being called toward this camp for summer. Right away my parents had a big problem with it. One I was not making money, Two it is not going to be helping my career (which I don’t even know what I want to exactly do), Three it would delay my graduation another semester, and Four they felt that my friends I have been talking with, they felt where making this decision for me and steering me into that direction. A bunch of other stuff was said that really got me frustrated and hurt.

They do not understand The Holy Spirit, I try explaining it to them but they just can’t grip it. I tried explaining things out but since they truly do not understand where I’m coming from and  that I’m not the same 18 year old that left for college and now am 21 with whole other view points and have grown tremendously. Honestly this was the 1st deep conversation I’ve had with them my whole life. So they kept like bashing my friends/mentors and saying that they where telling me these things and that I’m being gullible. Saying things like your career is more important and just going against all I heard during the week. Also not to let God control to much of my life. There was some more but I think I’m getting my point across, it was rough.

After my family went to bed I just laid downstairs in my family room just praying and crying for a while. My sister came down and she knows just how tough our parents can be and how rough it can be communicating things with them. I’m stilling trying to just figure out what’s next and like how to solve the hurt that my parents have put on me. I’m just praying for them and yeah just for guidance.

Psalm 91: 1,2

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”